Lena, Alyona and Olga Backstage at Christian Lacroix Couture | Spring 2009
It’s not your fault.You did your best.
Nimue Smit ph. by Alvaro Beamud Cortes | Apropos Journal’s S/S 2013
‘Chimera’, Thierry Mugler Haute Couture, Fall/Winter 1997.
I got to see this dress in a an exhibit once — it is *exquisite*.
I am personally of the opinion that it is the high point of all fashion, pretty much of any era. LOVE.
favorite animated movies » Princess Mononoke (1997)
↳ “You cannot change your fate. You can, though, rise to meet it.”
During my ongoing search to find the most awful movies ever made, I stumbled and fell head first into these 9 films and it was true love at first watch. Unlike regular awful movies you follow for 5 minutes before turning off and feel like throwing out a window, these all descend into comedic genius for the entirely wrong reasons and are the epitome of the phrase “so bad it’s good”. I’ve included links and torrents because you all need to watch and experience these.
- The Room [watch here] [torrent/download here]
One of the most famous unintentional comedies, The Room stars it’s writer/producer/director Tommy Wiseau opposite a woman playing his fiance (“future wife”) and is porn acting without the porn. The title holds true as there is only approximately 5 sets of different rooms in the whole film, including some lovely stock footage of the Golden Gate Bridge which is used numerous times. Every scene opens and ends with people entering rooms and introducing themselves, then having to go without explanation and the entire film seems like an alien’s portrayal of how they assume humans interact with each other. It somehow managed to cost $6 million to make and it was worth every penny.
- Troll 2 [watch here] [torrent/download here]
The famous line “they’re eating her, and then they’re going to eat me, oh my gaaaaawd” (x) is not the only part of this film worth attention, as everything else is equally awful to the point of hilarity. It’s the answer to that age old question, “What would happen if a horror movie sequel was written by a man who can’t write, starred people who can’t act, got directed by a man who can’t direct, and given mainstream funding and attention?” and thus this film was made. Terrible acting from everyone complimented by the equally terrible cinematography and special effects make this movie perfect.
- Manos: The Hands of Fate [watch here/watch here]
One of Quentin Tarantino’s favourite films and it’s not hard to see why, this is the definition of a terribly brilliant movie. The entire film was shot with a hand-held camera that could only record 32 seconds of film at a time and without sound so all the lines were dubbed later by two men and one woman… let that give insight on how horrendous this film is. Originally intended to be a scary horror movie, this quickly and unintentionally slips into one of the best satires of the genre and becomes a great comedic parody, amplified only by it’s authentic vintage quality.
- Going Overboard [watch here]
One of my favourite things to do is watch old Adam Sandler comedies from the 90s that I used to love as a child only to question how did I ever find this shit funny? This however isn’t one of those films; this is just bad… really, really, really bad. I can’t even describe how bad this film is, you have to just watch it. The movie revolves around the life of a young man played by Sandler, whose character’s name is Schecky Moskowitz (ho-ho-ho, Jewish name humor at it’s finest!) and he works a boring job on a cruise ship hoping to become a great comedian in cruise ship comedy… that is literally it. It’s terrifically awful and a must-see comedy that is funny for all the wrong reasons.
- Plan 9 from Outer Space [watch here] [torrent/download here]
Directed by the king of terrible films, Ed Wood. A man known for his poor production value and awful set design and special effects, this film exemplifies it all so very well. Aliens, Zombies, and Vampires are all present in this Horror Sci-Fi and the humerus aspect of the film is made clear the moment it starts and you realize “what the fuck is this?”. Shotty props and even worse directing, a Zombie knocks over a cardboard grave and it’s just left in the final release. With dialogue so dumb it almost seems ad-libbed by drunk relatives at a family gathering trying to be funny and failing, this film is absolutely horribly fantastic.
- Sharktopus [watch here] [torrent/download here]
I don’t even know what to say about this; an experiment gone wrong creates a half octopus/shark hybrid which goes around killing people while it’s scientist creator tries to find a way to hunt and kill it. I have no idea how this squeaked by the Oscars without even a nomination.
- Battlefield Earth [watch here] [torrent/download here]
Just coming down from the success of Pulp Fiction and what does John Travolta decide to do? If you guessed star in one of the worst sci-fi films ever made then baby you are right! An alien race enslaves the humans and they have had enough and start to fight back. A mediocre storyline and plot made infinitely better but shoddy set design, special effects, and terrible acting. Truly horrendous, a definite must-see.
- Titanic: The Legend Goes On [watch here]
Absolutely no one dies, because who even has time to honour of all the real people that died in the Titanic when you could use the disaster to mention the whale hunting problems in the world? This film is just so perfect and the only animation to make the cut. A Disney rip off, complete with talking animals and everything, this film is narrated by a mouse, but seen through the eyes of two young lovers with their pet dogs and mice that talk to them and discuss the whaling contracts between the evil men aboard the ship. Also included are evil talking sharks with biceps and a giant octopus with the head and voice of a young child…. please watch this film.
- Birdemic [watch here] [torrent/download here]
So painfully done it almost seems like a joke, intended to be a romantic horror, it turns out to be one of the greatest comedy films ever. A bunch of eagles and vultures wreak havoc in a town and and start killing people, two people fight back all the while battling their sexual attraction for each other and survive the bird epidemic.
i dont want to be that guy